Tickled Red
Little Tommy got a strange toy for christmas. “I’m sorry son,” said Big Tommy (Tommy’s dad) but they were out of Tickle me Elmo’s. All they had was this. The box said ‘Tickle Me And Die, Ages 3 And up’. Tommy was reluctant to play with his new toy, shaped like a wolf with paws…
The Sobotski File
I met him there on the bench. He was reading a paper. I could see the smoky cloud rise from out of The Washington Post as if it were a chimny. I almost turned around, but something made me press forward. I sat down, nervously I adjusted my collar, as I was told to do.…
It Was Luck
Little Joe Gould hated his life. His wife had left him and hired the most powerful divorce lawyer in all of Atlantic City. He sat there on the bar stool reflectively. He stared off at the slot machine and took his credit card from his wallet. He inserted the credit card and hit the bet…
Killing A Camera
The red carpet was laid out in all it’s cherry-like glory. Soon all the stars would be here at the 4th annual Oscar Meyer Hotdog eating contest. The press waited anxiously, shining their camera’s and exercising their picture taking fingers. In 30 minutes Yokomono Kikmonoko was to arrive, he defended the title. Who could possibly…
The Trouble With Dr. Duckhook
“Sometimes,” uttered Michael Booters to his psychologist, “sometimes I feel as if I’ve already lived and died and I am in hell, I mean I know that’s depressing to think, but you know, you know how it is. This one time I had this dream and I was falling, and while I fall everybody was…
Five O’ Clock Baseball
It seemed like life was moving along just as he pleased. Baseball Coach Stott Jellyghan rubbed is fat belly and waddled over to the concession stand. “I would like a hot dog,” Jellyghan said, “actually I want ten.” “You must really like hotdogs,” replied the vendor, who was curiously wearing a french tunic and a…
It Ain’t Over ‘Til Duckhook Sings
Coach Scott Jellyghan didn’t coach baseball for the thrill. He did it for the hotdogs. He was short, obese, and bald. Some would say he had nothing going for him. He would disagree. His duties as coach of the last place high school team in the Sandusky league gurenteed him a key to the castle,…
The Stakeout To End All Hotdogs
Captain Lafitte picked up the map out of the glovebox, he looked at the map trying as best he could to find where he was. “Ah ha,” he said to himself, “Fighting Hill Township, that must be were am I in.” He cruised the small town in the Weinermobile looking for a place to stay…
And Then There Was One
I fell asleep on the couch ready for my brain to shut down and for my subconcious to take over. I lied down that day waiting for the answers I needed for the meanings of life. As I closed my eyes and lost conciousness I heard the voices but couldn’t make out what they were…
Today’s Lesson: Vengeance
“What is time?” challenged the physics professor to his students. “Sure we measure it with our clocks but what is it? Is it a concept relative to it’s measurement? I don’t know. What is future? What is past?” He looked around the room, some students were lost, others were mystified. “I only believe in the…
The Simple Plan
To the Arbetski family it was just another discussion over dinner. To me it was the beginnings of a revolution. It began with the simple suggestion of Art Arbetski, family patriarch half-jokingly introducing the subject Wolfhook. All the members discussed the murderous canine over a spaghetti dinner, they laughed and cried and they kissed their…
The Concessions Stand Vender Who Happened to Sell Hotdogs (wolfhook’s favorite food)
“Third time’s a charm,” said the old coach as tried yet again to show his young tee-ballers how to swing. He made a connection and sent the ball flying into the outfield. “See kids, that’s how it’s done,” said the coach, secretly thanking his lucky stars that he even made a connection. After the short…
Sole Survivor
Henry James took the quill and began to write, it (his writing) was quick and he had earned the name Scribbler of Wales. (because he scribbled and lived in whales the country not the sea mammal). He quickly folded the letter and but his stamp of hot wax to seal it. He noticed something odd…
The People Versus Charles Morris
The defense attorney’s closing was brilliant in its pantomime, he strolled across the courtroom so cocky and confidently that the jury couldn’t help but be mesmerized. There was no body he kept stressing; the police were charging young Charles Morris with the murder of Christopher Thomas yet they had no body. “Who knows” boomed the…
If It Weren’t For Venetian Blinds Wolfhook Would Get Us All
“Mr. President,” said Whitehouse Press Secratary Johnny Morton, “I have Captain Lafitte on the phone.” The president stared passively into the east lawn. “Put him through, put him through immediately.” And that was the beginning of the end. The deal was made. The president had commissioned the notorious pirate Captain Lafitte to kill the one,…
Ham n’ Cheese
A salty feeling poured into his mouth as Michael Booters bit into his ham n’ cheese sandwich. He felt the salt trickle down his throat, and instinctively it made him wish for a better meal. He was sick of this pre-cooked fast food crap. But alas he was on duty and wouldn’t be home for…
The Hotdog Vender
Chuckie was not your ordinary hot dog stand vender. He had a degree from Harvard, yet the limited job market kept him from getting a decent job. Why, thought Chuckie, why the hell did I major in Malaysian Cuisine? Oh well. He saw a strange man in an overcoat and hat walk up to him.…
The Scientific Type
New Brunswick, NJ- Dr. Sobotski had a problem…he thought about it greatly and stared hours into the wall where the four stuffed paws were displayed. Why, why did he get away? Dr. Sobotski remembered well, he remembered implanting the technology to make Wolf hook a genius. He remembered how Wolfhook responded turning into pure evil.…
The Diamond Bullet
Sometimes you have one of those days. Charles Savant was having one of those weeks. His wife left him, his dog ran away, and his jewelry company was going nowhere fast. His luck seemed to be changing though, at least when one Joshua Canner walked in. “I need a bullet sir, a diamond one, and…
Wolfhook's Lair 