Settling Down – Part 1
One day, after a hearty rampage, while Wolfhook was returning to his humble abode (Wolfhook’s Lair™), he said to himself (out loud), ‘Maybe it’s time I settled down.’ That’s unexpected, he thought. But as he reflected, crouching into the low, triangular hovel he called home (Wolfhook’s Lair™), maybe there was something to it. After all,…
Ruger Luger Chronicles – Roundheels
I’m heading down a dull gray elevator. It’s one am, Tuesday morning. The day I’m supposed to meet the Boss. Turns out Lily, the broad who started me on this case, can’t afford much better and is living in a run down apartment in the red light district. In fact, a block down from The…
Ruger Luger Chronicles – The Guns In The Flivver
I can feel the cigarette smoke move up my hand as I hold it low in the darkness. The rain pelts my fedora from above like a million tiny typewriters being randomly and frequently tapped. If you were across the street and just happened to look at the spot where I am, the only clue…
Ruger Luger Chronicles – Julie
Julie is sitting in the hospital, all bandaged up. I figure maybe I can get in some questions before the hammer and saws get to her. Durn cops. Always cramping my style, corrupt bastages that can be pushed over by any sap with some rubes. Then again a pork and cheese burrito sounds real good…
Ruger Luger Chronicles – A Burrito
Questions slapped my brain like the sleet on the window pane. Could it really have been him? Wolfhook? Sure I’d heard stories; campers getting chopped up, a gentlemen’s club being raided, but were they true? I had a sinking sensation in my gut that told me by the end of this I’d be sorry I…
Ruger Luger Chronicles – Meet Ruger, Kids!
The name’s Luger. Ruger Luger. Sometimes i like to say i’m named after my best friend, who’s next to my heart all the time. Just a little down and to my left in fact. I guess you could say i fell for her as soon as she walked in, the dame that came in that…
Limericks – Of Drugs
He once tried the glorious weedBut it was something that he didn’t need.And it’s much more euphoricAnd each one historicTo kill and to let people bleed.
Limericks – Of Politics
He once stole the role of the President,But his identity was soon made evident.When Billy’s hand tried to shakeThe hook by mistake,Blood squirted like a hose on a hydrant.
Limericks – Of Hot Tubs
The water was bubbly and creamyWhile the couple’s love got to be steamy.So Wolfhook joined inAnd then went for a swim,As their blood filled the tub up to teeming.
Limericks – Of Duckhook
His fiendish former archrivalTurned out to be very delightful.They walked in the park,And ate kids in the dark,And attended important revivals.
Limericks – Of Hotdogs
His eyes took them in with desireAs he saw them cook on the fire.So he crashed through the brush,All their throats he did crushAnd feasted over the blazing hot pyre
Limericks – Of Love
When it came to the chicks he was lost,And his heart had a thick icy frost.But when drunk girls came by,He was witty and sly,And hooked off their arms for the cost
Limericks – Of Soccer
When Wolfhook would play with the pack,’Twas a shame! He was always held back.When the ball came his wayHe was filled with dismay.And he ended the game with a smack.
Killer Congregation Part 2: The Path to Revenge is Fraught with Trauma
Squealing steel burned along its way, oblivious to obstructions, steadfast. The train chugged along, bludgeoning the blackness. Bill the Bindle Stiff sat alone, cutting away at a can of beans with his only rusty pocket knife. Knowing that his life wasn’t worth what defecated his pants, his eyes blankly twitched along the passing trees’ leaves.…
The Killer Congregation: Part 1 The Dark Meeting
“Brethren,” said High Brother Amfield, “I now call this meeting of the Church of the Brethren into order.” The crowd cheered, boisterous words echoing through the canyon. “Now brethren…” Amfield paused. Curious rustling of leaves halted his words. He turned and looked into the woods. Suddenly Wolfhook burst out, twigs and torn branches soaring in…
Broken Tears
Shadows of ghosts danced their ghoulish dance on the side of Wolfhook’s Lair, slight light shining through the leaves. Glowing eyes shined out like beacons of terror. Wolfhook turned and looked at the festering corpse at his feet. His hook deliberately made another slash to the scarred wall. Carefully calculating, his silver finger touched each…
Nearly Naked
(FADE IN on a movie theater. Reese Witherspoon’s plastic smile shines out from a large cardboard two advertising her latest sequel. Employees mill around: it’s 9:30 on a Monday and things are slow. ZOE watches the kernels spill over on the popcorn machine. Her eyes shift over to JACK and JOEL ogling a nearly naked…
Blood & Brains
“Last night,” said Hupert the Hopeless, “I think Janey smiled at me.” “Shut uup, you homo,” yelled Antoine the Black British Minority. “Janey would never even look at you. She hates you. You know what? I hate you too!” Hupert’s pitiful voice questioned the pitiless hate. “Why did you say that?” Hupert whined. “Because, you…
The Passionate Eye
The passionate eye stared at Sir Jeremy from the wall, burning through him. Its flames, searing him, pupil pulsing, palpitating. He couldn’t take it any longer; it was driving him to madness. The teeth inside the blackened eye opened, its tongue writhed revolting. Jeremy tore down the hideous portrait and torched one of the many drawings he had created…
The Duckhook – Wolfhook Relationship
The salty sea was raging, wayward wind washed water up into the boat. Wolfhook stood staring at the grotesque duck sitting across from him. They would sink in minutes. “Duckhook,” cried Wolfhook, “we’re going to die!” Duckhook looked with his beady eyes at the miserable soaking wretch. “Yo, shu’up beoch,” said Duckhook, in his very…
Dark Dreams
Allen sat poised and ready. Before him was the sum of his life’s ambitions: Julia. She lay before him like a white wheat field, ready to be harvested. He licked his lips and dove in. Allen’s eyes snapped open. Around him, darkness stabbed out any hope of ever having a girl, much less Julia. For…
Wolfhook's Lair 